Friendship Eclipsed...

I had a birthday recently. I’ve never been the type to make a big deal out of it. A simple card or a happy birthday wish is all that’s needed. The handmade birthday cards from my kids are priceless and definitely go into the box of pictures and mementos patiently waiting to be placed in scrapbooks. Although I treasure those items which I have carefully packed away, putting my scrapbooks together is a mainstay on my to do list. I just never seem to have time, or rather more realistically I have never made it a priority. I guess since I know those items will always be there there’s no rush to attend to them.

 I have a friend in another state and I’ve known her since high school. She is very busy with school and work. She is married but has no children.  I have no doubt her life is full. She has demanding classes and a job to keep up with. I understand busy.  I have a husband who has no concept off time off, three children, and my own work.  Nevertheless, I manage to call her, even if it’s for a few minutes.

It is now going on three months and I have not heard from her. I called and left a message a few months ago with no return call. My birthday came and went with no call. I have never missed acknowledging her birthday. I know it should not be tit for tat but come on.

This has happened many times before. When I finally hear from her she says I’ve been meaning to call you but…  Then inevitably I hear the I’m-going-to-call-you-again-later-in- the-week pledge. This rarely happens.

"Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity."

~ Kahlil Gibran

 I have grown weary of feeling like I hold up my end of the friendship. She obviously is very fulfilled in her life and has no need for me.

I guess in my quest to feel extraordinary about something I would like to feel that I have an extraordinary friendship. I thought she was a person I could count on for that. 

I realized that just like my mementos from the past, I’m her stuff from long ago. There are good memories of past times and she probably thinks the friendship will be there whenever she gets around to pulling it off the shelf. But just like construction paper pictures lovingly drawn by a child, it can fade with time.